2010
I do believe that there should be accountability in the Body of Christ, and that sins should be addressed properly. However, the principle of going to one another with our concerns, as Matthew18 states, has been lost.
The accountability seems to only flow in one direction and if those that believe they are higher on the Richter are confronted, then the confronter is accused of not being submitted, being dishonoring, disrespectful, unappreciative etc.
The modern church speaks of submitting to your authority, “them” often.
However, when I have heard the scripture of “wives submit to your husbands” explained in church, it is said that submission doesn’t mean that the husband dominates the wife and controls her. It is explained that the husband and wife are a team, and talk and pray about issues together. The Bible says that the husband is the leader of the home, but that doesn’t mean domination.
Ultimately the husband is responsible for decisions, which means that he also must take responsibility when or if the plans sometimes fail. Blaming his wife for the failures ruins relationship and trust. He is to treat his wife as Christ would treat the church. This means that neither act independently, but rather interdependently through God. I think God is a genius for giving us this reference to give balance to an opportunity to abuse our authority as Christian leaders in churches or elsewhere.
Christ wants communication with us. He wants to hear our prayers and questions. How else can intimacy be established? When we shut down communication and send the message that you just need to obey and stay quiet, it is not only abusive, but it is a very one-sided relationship. In fact, the Lord even goes as far as to say, “be angry, just don’t sin.” Instead, often if we share our hurts or concerns with those attached to the Righteous Richter, we are cut off and triangled.
Triangling is when we take issues to others that are not involved in order to get sympathy instead of dealing with those issues and the persons involved. This way of dealing with one another is not relational. We don’t take responsibility for our own part in the problem, and the problem snowballs. We all need to do our part in the Matthew 18 model, and then release it to God.
Unfortunately, there are times when both parties are not ready or willing. The scripture states at that point, to take it to the church and treat them as a tax collector. I believe that means to forgive and show God’s love until relationship can be restored, not to hate them and try and do them harm. The purpose of the Matthew 18 model is for true relationship to be restored, not to issue our justice or punishment on that person.
Hope deferred does make the heart sick, so I will hope and pray for restoration where it’s needed, until it’s complete.
James 4 states why strife happens among us as believers. We want our selfish agendas accomplished and our eyes are off the Creator and His creation and on what we want from this world. Whether it be fame, money, power, we all have something that pulls us away from what is truly important.
Through my healing process, God has revealed things that were hard to see before. When I gained perspective from trusted counselors outside of the system, I no longer believed the lie that I was somehow crazy and a horrible human being for disagreeing with certain things or refusing to hide them any longer.
If I hadn’t examined my heart, started to change what I was doing and why, I could have missed out on the extreme pain caused by the rejection. What’s worse, I could have missed out on the most rewarding journey I have ever been on.
God never said that following Him would be easy, but through the pain, I better understand my purpose and what God’s best is for my life with my husband and children. It took my own personal earthquake that measured off the Richter scale to wake me up. I still feel the aftershocks from time to time and have to fight the need for approval before my need for God.
The earthquake left my heart in ruins. I knew I couldn’t feel sorry for myself forever, but I had to have hope that God still had a plan for my life. He was the only one who could mend the hole in my heart.
Thoughts of justice were what my flesh wanted for a time, but I had to learn that God really is in control. I can say with all sincerity that I trust God with my life. I couldn’t say that a few years ago. Before, I would plan out the way I wanted things to happen and then inform God, so He would comply.
Once I stopped trying to hold on to what I thought was my identity and security, and gave Him back total control, He began to rebuild my mind, will and emotions, from the ground up. Just as in the epicenter of an earthquake, God’s spirit, sent shockwaves through my soul. He is a much better planner and architect than I could ever attempt to be. The best part is He will never be finished, and He continues to work on me everyday.
When I thought I was the only one, others started to emerge from the ruins of their own similar earthquakes and ask for a helping hand. Little did most of them know I was a survivor myself. God led them to a safe place to be loved, and in return I received a Christ-like love from people I never expected.
Even in God’s graciousness in restoring what has been lost, God continually asks me “Am I enough?” In the beginning, the question made no sense to me, but now it makes all the sense in the world. I want to be able to live everyday knowing that God alone is enough. When everything is stripped away, He is always there.
Many leaders say the right things, but I believe they become fearful and follow the approval of men, their own desires and fear of provision before stepping out and following God and His principles. My journey could have never fully started if I only listened to what others thought, or if I listened to what my flesh desired.
This perspective comes from personal experience and those of others with similar experiences. My husband works with churches across the country, and this issue is heard far too often. Many leaders are asking for help to bring unity into their churches and cities. They are humbly depending on God to transform their tragedy into transformation.
Righteous Richter Part 3 - "Tragedy To Transformation"
2/10/10