I have spent a lot of time and emotions invested in the not so fun, yet inevitable area of death lately. I have watched 2 of the most influential men in my life suffer from cancer and go to be with the Lord.

 

The first was my grandfather. He suffered and fought this mean disease for almost half of his life until it took its final blow last November, at the age of 80.

 

The second was my best friend’s father since the second grade. His suffering was short yet intense. He was diagnosed the end of October 2009 and joined his wife in heaven on February 21st. He was 73.

 

Their tremendous impact on my life and others has consumed most of my thoughts lately. Watching the unique admiration and respect both of these men drew unknowingly from others, is quite rare today.

 

There are many reasons these men deserved every ounce of honor shown them at their memorials. There is one significant trait, that is shared in each of their separate lives that keeps showing itself to me, especially now that they are gone. This is their unique yet simple way of relating with others.

 

Each had their own special way of making whomever they were talking with, feel like the most special person on the planet. I have never heard either of them ever say an unkind word about anyone. They would each praise others in the room and outside of it. They treated others the same way in public and in private.

 

Each of these men lived very simple lives. When you entered their homes, you found yourself drawn into meaningful conversations that were remembered for years afterward. There was a feeling of home in each of their residences. There was a comfort and peace that you were loved unconditionally, and that they had special glasses on that caused them to only see the good in you and your potential in life. These same glasses miraculously made them blind to your imperfections. However, every time I left the company of each of them, I felt inspired to be a better person.

 

What makes this even more unusual in today’s world, and almost unbelievable myself as I write it out…..is that their identity was their Love. Neither was remembered for, or identified with their occupation or belongings in life. I think one of the main reasons the conversations were so special in each of their homes, was because we weren’t preoccupied with their belongings or egos.

 

I title this blog entry Relations because each of these men had a unique and almost extinct way of relating with others. In order to have lasting and meaningful relationships with others, we must be able to relate. When we look down on others and have little or no empathy for what they are struggling with, our relationships become very limited.

 

Each of these men saw something in people that many others had a hard time seeing. They each saw the hearts of the people in spite of what the hurts might have done to those individuals on the outside. They each loved the unlovely.

 

They each served others in everything they did. If I had to pick one word to describe each of them, it would be Servant. My grandfather and best friend’s dad literally served their families almost until the very days they passed. It brought them joy to do so, and neither asked or wanted anything from others in return. Which interestingly enough, caused us to want to do all we could for them.

 

Their respect and honor wasn’t demanded, but earned based on their honorable lives and God’s love that shined through each of them in similar yet unique ways.

 

I loved them both tremendously, and will miss them both incredibly.

 

Peace and Love,

Julie