I’m an accidental blogger. Never did I imagine writing my thoughts and experiences or having an audience for them. So my purpose in walking through the process of how these articles are written is to show that God truly directs me every time. I don’t have some pre-planned writer’s technique that I use. I don’t ever want to write without Him. He truly makes sense of my thoughts and emotions in written form. There is a Harry Connick Jr. song that says, “a little bit of me and a whole lot of you…that’s the recipe for making love.” Well it truly takes “a little bit of me and a whole lot of Him” to show His love for us all.

 

Every time I write an article and it’s well received, fear goes through me. Yes, fear. I am fearful of many things. I am fearful of listening too much to the praise of others and less to God. I am fearful of how I will be able to write the next article and it have the same impact as the previous. Thus, all the more reason I need God in this process. There is nothing special about me, or my writing. There is something tremendously special about my God, and His graciousness in using me, and all of us, if we’re willing.

 

We all have a story to tell of God’s love. We just need the courage and dependence on Him to help us tell it wisely and effectively for His purposes. I want my fear of God to remain intact and not twist His word to influence or manipulate others.

 

I instinctively thought I should follow the Who line of thinking with “What,” as in Who, What, Why, When and How. I have been praying and contemplating which direction to take it. Some thoughts were What Drives you? What is your Purpose? Etc.  Every day I have been asking God for help.

 

A few nights ago we were eating dinner with our daughters and they wanted to ask a question from our “Table Topics” cards. The question on the card that night was “What is your greatest accomplishment?”

 

The question barely reached my brain before tears came to my eyes. As a looked at the faces of my daughters, I knew instantly my answer. Basically, this blog wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for them. Almost every decision I have made since they were born was for their ultimate benefit. They are my greatest accomplishment. Let me explain why. It’s probably not for the reasons you think.

 

My husband and I had been married over 2 years when we felt we were ready to start a family. The three long painful years of infertility that followed caused depression, anger towards God and anyone else that easily conceived.

 

During this time, I had someone tell me that they thought God was withholding a child from me because of what they thought was unsatisfactory behavior on my part. Something deep inside felt this was wrong, but I was so desperate to find an answer and to please that I let these words take hold of a piece of my heart. I tried harder to please God and others and perform my way into motherhood. Can you imagine - it didn’t work? Exhausted from the emotional roller coaster we gave up. That same month we gave up, we conceived not just one baby… but two.

 

The reason my daughters are my greatest accomplishment is because they have revealed God’s heart to mine more than anything or anyone else. I experienced what many parents do - I felt the overwhelming instinct of love God gives us for our children. I felt what God must feel for me.

 

In essence, they are the fruit of my greatest accomplishment, which is trusting God, serving Him even when I’m angry and sometimes don’t understand Him.

 

They aren’t my greatest accomplishment because I’m some amazing mother that has trained them into near perfection, but quite the opposite. They showed me what unconditional love means, and helped me recognize that love from my husband as well. They are my greatest accomplishment because I didn’t do anything special to deserve them or create them. God graciously gave them into our care because of His goodness and timing.

 

Whatever it is your waiting on God for, trust His timing and goodness. It’s not His nature to withhold what’s best for His children. God’s will rarely looks like our own, but it’s often better than what we could have desired to begin with.

 

The “What” in my story and greatest accomplishment, also ties into the “What” in my Purpose and What Drives Me. So continue with me to see what God has revealed to my heart in the next post. Thank goodness that with God’s help inspiration is everywhere. :)

Peace and Love,

Julie