2010
Remember the game you used to play in school where the teacher would say a word and you had to respond back with the first thing that came in your head after you heard the word? In the same way, when we hear someone’s name mentioned, we instinctively have a thought or feeling about that person whether we know them well or just their reputation.
Each of us, spend a major part of our lives trying to build and maintain an image of how we want others to see us. Sometimes it’s a premeditated image that we try to create, and often it’s an identity that has been formed through both the hardships and benefits of our life that we work with or against to shape into a more appealing image for others to know and respect.
Everyone has their own individual desire to be known as _____. Most of us want that identity to be a positive one. I don’t think anyone sets out in life trying to create an image of being thought of negatively. The commonality in us as humans is that we all have an innate desire to be loved and accepted. This series is intended to take a deeper look at what lengths we will go to, in order to protect the image that we create for ourselves.
I truly believe we were never intended to create or perpetuate our own image.
Genesis 11:4 “Come let us build ourselves a city, and a tower whose top is in the heavens; let us make a name for ourselves, lest we be scattered abroad over the face of the whole earth.” This is referring to what happened at the tower of Babel. We know that didn’t end well. Notice their fear of being scattered or “rejected” is what caused them to build their idol.
However, God told Abraham in the very next chapter Gen 12:2 “I will make you a great nation; I will bless you and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing.” Wow. Personally, “being a blessing” is the part that gave me chills. That’s what I desire.
I don’t believe that God was saying to Abraham, “I am gonna make you famous and rich and you will never have a need in the world.” He was telling Abraham that because of his obedience, he didn’t need to worry about what others thought of him. God would take care of that. Abraham didn’t have to do anything but obey God in order to be a blessing. There was no magical formula involved.
Max Lucado said it best, “You are valuable because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are.” If we believe that we have value simply because He created us in His image, then maybe we wouldn’t have to create our own.
I believe that we are to follow God’s voice and individual path that He has for each of us, and let Him handle the rest. In my own experiences, the times that I followed God with the biggest leaps of faith didn’t always result in an immediate understanding or acceptance from others. My “identity” became marred in some people’s eyes. I still struggle with wanting to be seen in a good light by others. However, I don’t want it to come at the cost of disobeying what God is saying.
I don’t remember anywhere in the Bible, seeing a story about Jesus going on a marketing campaign to announce the dates in which He, the “Son of God” would be “performing the greatest miracles ever.” He trusted that God would make the way, and place Him at the right place at the right time. He didn’t orchestrate being “Jesus”. He simply followed His father’s voice wherever it took Him, even to the point of ridicule and death.
When we hold so tightly to our own identity, we create a barrier that makes it harder for others to see God in us because our own image is blocking the view of our Savior.
This sends a message that we can save ourselves. That it’s up to us to do what needs to be done in order to survive in this world with our shiny, happy, comfortable, acceptable lives.
Yet, we even pray and ask God to give us what’s needed to perpetuate this image. We wonder why many of our requests go unanswered. He wants what’s “best for us,” not to make sure we have the “best of everything.” What we are striving for, often, has nothing to do with Him. It’s all about me, me, me.
Our image becomes our idol. “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” Maybe our most dominate god is simply ourselves. When my image becomes my idol then anything that helps perpetuate my image is also my idol. Money, fame, etc, etc.
In American culture especially, we are bombarded everyday with the notion that it’s all about us. We need to have the biggest house, best car, nicest clothes, perfect body...throw in a pure bred dog, cat, beautiful spouse and 3.5 kiddos.
If that’s not enough, as Cushy Christians we must also attend the “right” church in enough quantity to make us seem more holy than our neighbor, make sure everyone knows how much time we spend praying and attending “spiritual” events. In fact, in general I believe the pressure to have the “perfect” image is mostly found in Christians.
Maybe it’s because if Satan can distract us from true intimacy with God and others with a bunch of fake fluff and make us look good doing it, then why not? Guess what? It’s also now really cool as a “cushie” to be “relevant.” Which means you can have an edge as a Christian and look even cooler. Just make sure you achieve all of these things in the “right” way and time period. If you don’t, you must be doing something wrong. You must not be “blessed.”
The pressure is now on to create the image of being the best of the best at “who you are.” You can now earn even more money to buy all of the things that will present the perfect image. “Oh, and by the way God, if I get rich I will give lots to your kingdom, I promise.” I’ll pretend I don’t notice that this also helps feed the right image of being a “very important person” in the circle I’m trying to impress.
Here’s where it starts to get really ugly. Idols always require a sacrifice.
Sometimes I wish there were fine print on our lives that says, “Beware, in order to achieve this image here are some of the probable side effects.”
Less time for God, your spouse, and your children.
Your spouse may leave you.
Your kids may resent you.
You’re going to age and have to spend more time and money trying to maintain the outward appearance. (Refer back to line 1)
There will be others that will be younger, cuter and more talented than you. Their image may outshine yours.
You will become competitive and envious of others success.
You will lose friends because you have very little time or energy for any real intimate bonds or connection with others.
You will be tempted to do what will get you more even if it goes against God’s word.
You may even feel so overwhelmed that you need to steal or cheat in order to get what you “need” to keep the cycle going.
Severe debt is eminent.
Excessive eating, drinking, cheating or drugs are also highly probable in order to relieve some of the overwhelming stress you feel just trying to be “you.”
Sound familiar? It’s everywhere we look. We are believing a lie and it’s a recipe for disaster. Here’s an alternative. What if we didn’t focus on ourselves anymore and focused on God and how to love others? What if every decision we made was measured by whether God would be proud of us at the end of the day.
Even the most “Godly” people and professions can be lured into this trap. Christian leaders, authors and speakers who begin with pure motives can begin to believe their own press and start to make decisions through a filter of what others believe about them. They start to compromise what’s right in order to be liked and accepted. They don’t want to lose followers or fans.
Facebook is one of the best examples of how we each have an image that we want to show others. Many use Facebook to relate and connect with people. We also know that it is sometimes used to show off our intelligence, humor, children, new car, house, fancy meals, dogs, cats etc. I’m not saying that sharing parts of our life with each other is wrong. I’m just asking for us to reevaluate our reasons and heart behind why we do it.
I visited my hometown a couple of months ago. Whenever I go back I expect to run into familiar faces from the many years spent living there. I have always had a certain identity. When people see me, they think of ____. This time when I was there something had changed. My identity had changed for many people. The questions and comments I usually received were different this time. I was seen as Julie Evans Albracht, writer of “Cushy Christianity.” While I was surprised, I was also relieved to finally be out of the shadow of being “little Julie”. It was the first time I felt I had my own identity. Uh oh…can you see where this is leading?
The feelings of happiness were soon replaced with worry. I didn’t want to latch onto a new identity just to replace an old one. I had just recently laid it all down in order for God to create in me what He desired. How ironic that sharing that journey with others would begin to lead me into exactly what I was trying to avoid. The truth is, even the best things can turn bad and into the most dangerous of idols. Was something intended for good, meant to help others, now going to turn bad? Not if I could help it.
I was questioned repeatedly over the last few months about why I hadn’t written in so long. Here’s why. I desperately needed to evaluate if God wanted me to continue or if I was writing just to keep this new “identity” afloat. I didn’t want my life to operate around my writing. I want my life to operate around God. If my writing is a result of His will, then I want to continue. If I’m writing merely to make a name for myself, then I would honestly, rather not. The slope is slippery and I don’t want it to become about me. When people read my writings, I want them to walk away seeing Him better.
My goal is for others to see God first when they see me. I have a long way to go in order to accomplish this, but I believe we can all be beacons of light that attract others to us and our Savior instead of repel them away from us and therefore God. Let God create your identity, but let’s let our false image die.
Peace and Love.
Julie
American Idol Pt. 1: American Me
9/13/10
“I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog -gone it, people like me.” Stuart Smalley