Now, let me tell you a little more of the amazing humans, that through the pain, when all hope was lost, when I became a “nobody” in the system…showed a love that has profoundly changed my life, forever. When I had nothing to offer, they showed me why we were friends. It was for the simple reason that they cared.

This was hard for me to accept, at first. A wounded heart is fearful of opening up and trusting. However, with time because of, and in spite of the tragedy, we became closer and developed a bond that would have never been possible before. Not just a relationship, a bond that is so real and humbling that I still can’t believe it’s true.

A love, that loved, when I felt most unloveable, and asked nothing of me in return.  A love that never withheld love in order to get me to obey.  A love that loved, when I was so stuck in my own pain, I couldn’t relate with the rest of the world. That love helped transform me and showed me a glimpse of God, here on earth.

At a time when what I thought was love, mocked me, and told me that my expressions of love were just not good enough…this new true love took me by surprise. I realized that all I can do is love, I can’t control whether someone accepts it or appreciates it. I hope and pray that someday they’ll be ready to accept what I can offer.

At a time when I couldn’t separate the pain and the religious systems from God, those that loved showed me the difference. Now, with their example, I aspire to love them and those outside of my comfort in their own struggles and journey, with the same fervor. My marriage, motherhood, friendships and family relationships will forever be changed.

Many of these relationships would never have happened if I hadn’t changed my way of looking at God’s people. I had to repent to many that I had disqualified from my life, based on what the system told me of them. I feel like I’m finally living life in 3D. Humans will forever cause pain, but God’s love through the humble will transform that pain into transformation. Thank you to the ones that loved me at my most unloveable.

I’m not asking you to follow my journey. You have a journey of your own that is unique and specific to God’s design for your life. My message and hope for others is that they can turn their tragedy into transformation and feel the freedom from religious performance.

Don’t let your identity become the name of your house of worship, but let your identity be God’s name written on your heart that radiates towards others. Hope can emerge from chaos and catastrophe.

I have resisted writing for so long, because I hate formulas. I don’t want you to follow a formula, I want you to follow the kingdom of God and His righteousness and will for your life. Following God before men is the greatest thing you will ever do. God wants better for you than even you want for yourself.

I am amazed and grateful for how full and content my life is than ever before. By letting God take the reigns, He is creating my life in His image. On paper, and according to the system, I don’t have a lot, but according to the kingdom of God, I have everything I need, and trust Him to fill in gaps with heartfelt prayers for restored relationship, not riches or fame. I refuse to be a victim, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without the pain and struggles.

For a long time I felt shamed by those attached to the Richter to never speak of what I have experienced; however, I believe there are others that can benefit and be encouraged when we are honest and vulnerable about our struggles. I am not on a campaign against any group of people or persons, and feel that these issues are global and broad.

This is simply my story. I have been a part of many churches and systems in the last few years, each has had it’s own good and bad impact on this perspective. If this resembles anything you know, don’t judge that person or place but simply look at yourself and your part in the cycle, and what you can do to help the change.

Forgive those that have hurt you and ask God to transform your heart. Unfortunately, forgiveness doesn’t always mean restored relationship, but your journey will be better with a clean heart.

Let’s be the Body that stands together as a family that loves unconditionally and can relate with one another rather than shame each other in order to feel righteously superior. Eph 2:14

My ultimate purpose and hope is for restoration between all, and a love and acceptance that stuns the world, so that others can’t wait to be a part of the loving Body of Christ.

Peace and Love,

Julie